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User blog:JakeTheManiac/Dr. Phil vs Sigmund Freud. Mega Rap Battles of History 4
Welcome to another installment of MRBoH. This battle features psychotherapist and the greatest philosopher of the twentieth century, Sigmund Freud versus psychologist and the greatest Phil-osopher (bpf) of the twenty-first century, Dr. Phil McGraw. But like most psychologists, they have patients with many problems. Today, three patients will rap against Freud and discover what is truly wrong with them. As always, give comments and tell me what I should do next. And as always, enjoy the battle! (Note: some words that Freud say are meant to be pronounced differently, like strategy (in order for it to rhyme with comedy).) The Beat: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GtQhz6YMwPg Cast: EpicLLOYD as Dr. Phil (body actor) Doug Walker as Sigmund Freud Nice Peter as Emperor Caligula and Dr. Phil (voice) Jenna Marbles as Lindsay Lohan Zach Sherwin as The Joker The Battle: (Dr. Phil starts at :30) MEGA RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DOCTOR PHIL! VS! SIGMUND FREUD!!! BEGIN! Dr. Phil: Hello, I'm Dr. Phil and have we got a guest! Sigmund Fraud and I will battle to be the best psychiatrist When you step to me, you'll never be the same I'm the best emcee, heck, it's even in my name I don't hate anyone, but you, I really despise I will finish you faster than when you got euthanized My time is almost up and you have three patients today They are some crazy basket cases, that's all I got to say Sigmund Freud: I'm the greatest thinking mind from the Czech Republic And it seems as though I've found my first subject I'll rap you and rip you till I get an examination Spitting rhymes is my new substitute for masturbation You've been riding Oprah's coattails since you started your career All your insults were terrible, and did not inspire fear You have a severe case of being full of crap You aren't a good psychiatrist and you certainly can't rap Phil: Let the true test begin, the greatest battle of the age So will the first patient please come on to the stage? Caligula: Professor Freud, you don't know what's coming to ya Rapping royalty by the name Emperor Caligula I'll shove my little soldier's boot right up your rear Give nasty stares for life, I even practice at a mirror I don't care if your my sibling, I'd bed ya, may seem insane But when I'm done with you, oh dear, you'll die in vain You can hate me as long as you fear me, you will, indeed After this, you will worship me, like folks do to my steed Freud: Well, Emperor DeLarge, your results aren't very fair You're a sexed up Julius Caesar and a king with no hair The first Roman ruler to be killed, that's tragic That wouldn't've happen if you weren't so psychopathic Your perversities are enough to make Jeffery Dahmer cringe You're an insult to Rome and way off the fringe I see you as an incestuous evil genius, at best Your departure from here is more celebrated than your death! Phil: That was impressive, but you still need to learn So young lady, come on down, it's now your turn Lindsay Lohan: Let this Teenage Drama Queen give you her Confessions My rhymes will eat at you like cancer from your cigar obsession You're not on my level, I've worked with Tina Fey You couldn't help me, no matter what you say I'm young, I've been arrested, I'm not what I seem So have fun attempting to Interpret my Dreams I'm a Mean Girl who can be Freaky any day of the week I know I've got problems, so go ahead and Speak Freud: I've read upon your case and I have a diagnosis You appear to suffer from a case of cocaine psychosis You were in some good movies and had a nice career strategy Now you're getting more bombed than InAPPropriate Comedy Why don't you drive off into The Canyons with your Fully Loaded car? Your 15 minutes of shame is over, you're no longer a star McGraw, your guests aren't that problematic, is that all you've got? Do you have any more tricks up your sleeve that you have brought? Phil: Well, Siggy, I do, your next patient's a master at that So, Mister Joker, are you ready? Where are you at? The Joker: Right here, Dr. Phail! You wanna play rough? Let's go, then! I'm a real sick mind, unlike Caligula or Lohan I'll drive you out of the studio, like the Nazis did your family You haven't faced nothing yet, I'm the definition of insanity Everything that you said was just a Freudian slip You became a doctor just to get lucky with a chick Then you got married, I hang with sexy ladies like Harley Quinn Beating you would mean nothing, sometimes a win's just a win All my raps might as well end this, call them a Killing Joke Your flow is more hilarious than the way that you croaked Why so serious, Freud? I think you've learned pretty fast Not to mess with the Joker, The Man Who got the last Laugh! Freud: I'm not frightened by you, but I know the sick way you play You're where you don't belong, Ronald, the McPlay Place is that way You make me grin, without the laughing gas. You're nothing I've seen scarier clowns in movies by Stephen King You won't even come near me, let alone attack, man Your game plan sounds as great as your attempt to kill the Batman You should've stuck to stand up, I hear you were great at that Until your wife got killed and you fell in to that vat Put away every single deadly weapon you've ever owned Prepare for defeat, this Clown Prince of Crime has been dethroned I prescribed a butt whipping, you learned who the boss is This appointment is over, now get out of my office! WHO WON?!?! WHO'S NEXT?!?! YOU DECIDE!!!!! MEGA! (mega!) RAP! (rap!) BATTLES! (battles!) OF! (of!) HISTORY!!! (HISTORY!!!!) Who won? Dr. Phil Sigmund Freud Caligula Lindsay Lohan The Joker Category:Blog posts